Innocence™ officially launched Happiness at Federation Square, Melbourne, on June 19, 2004. A chilly eleven degrees could not keep Melburnians from witnessing the unveiling of the world's first Public Happiness Meter. Ryan Lycon, Innocence™'s Global Events Manager, and twenty Shelly look-alikes distributed free samples of Happiness™ to the public who testified to the effectiveness of the Innocence™ range.

PERSONAL TESTIMONIALS

Steve Lynch Tai chi instructor
When I first saw Shelly Innocence I thought there goes another airhead,
another soulless face on a billboard, but let me tell you Shelly’s got it going
on. She’s wicked. She rocks my world. She's 100% substance and she
believes and I believe in Shelly Innocence. The product I tried was called
Revelation™. I think they’ve changed it now to Faith™. Anyway, I tell
you it was really something else.

David Johansen Father of four
I tried Innocence™ by accident. I brushed against it in the crowd. I didn’t
realise it at the time but looking back I can now see what happened.
Suddenly everything changed. Everything was easier and nothing was
a struggle anymore. I began to enjoy myself. Now I’ve tried all the
Innocence™ products – Honesty™, Integrity™, Joy™, Trust™ and
Hope™. It’s marvellous the difference Innocence™ makes.

Jason Maling Father / teacher
We’d been around quite a bit before we found Innocence™. I guess you
would call us swinging shoppers. My wife came home one day with a
sample pack of Integrity™. I tried it before I went to bed. In the morning I
felt completely different. I saw the world differently. Everything was clearer.
We had baby Issac soon after. So anyone who is reluctant or has any
doubts or hesitations can take it from me – Innocence™ really works.

Vince Milton Web designer
I’m a very busy person. I’ve got no time for gimmicks or one hit wonders.
When I first heard about Innocence™ I rolled my eyes. I said 'Give us a
break'. I don’t suffer fools gladly. I suppose you’re expecting me to say
Innocence™ is different. You may be sceptical, thinking this is a put up job.
You probably think I'm being paid to endorse Innocence™'s products. But
you’re wrong. The Innocence™ product that I tried is called Risk™. I was in
a rut – stroppy, downright miserable, lower than low. I thought ‘what have
I got to lose?' So I threw caution to the wind and embraced Risk™.
It was electrifying. I've never looked back. Risk™ – it’s yours for the taking.

Pat Barnett Home maker
I used to work with Shelly at the cosmetics counter in Red Spot Discounts.
She was on work experience. She was only 15 and I was ready to retire.
That girl had something even then. She was cheeky. She said ‘Pat Barnett,
tell me the truth – are you happy?’ Fancy asking that! She was only a kid.
Now let me ask you the same question. How many of you are not 100%
satisfied? In your lives I mean. Well, I was the same. I was going round in
circles. I had no direction. It was like I was living out other people’s hopes
and dreams and had no goals of my own. Then I heard about Innocence™
and remembered young Shelly. I thought it might mean long meetings, diet
and exercise. That’s not for me. But it’s not like that at all. Go Shelly.

SHELLY INNOCENCE LOOK-ALIKES

Shelly Innocence look-alikes are more than obsessed Shelly fans.
They borrow Shelly's fashion sense and embody her philosophies.
The 20 look-alikes who attended the Innocence™ launch posed for
photos and signed autographs for the public.


A word of inspiration from Shelly to her look-alikes:

'I love you all. Multiplicity! Increase you chances! Only believe.'


Stock market report

Prepared by Rebecca Burone Economist

Yesterday the Aussie dollar was up, trading at 82% thanks to Innocence™
 Industries who have recommended that shareholders accept a 205% rise.
Integrity™ has jumped to $365. Compassion™ slipped 2% then recovered.
Happiness™, just released, has firmed against the greenback. There’s
been a solid gain. Emotional expenditure is up 2.2% with the recent hike in
interest rates. Ethics™ has slumped. Futures™ are up 11 points to $346.
Fidelity™ has fallen due to the low bond rate. Commitment™ fell and
recovered, becoming stable at 14%.

But ladies and gentlemen I would like to speak from my heart and tell
you that the global marketplace is a volatile and unforgiving place. Only
Innocence™ supplies Peace™ and Forgiveness™. I have always been
a cautious investor, concerned with the bottom line. Well, last week I
reviewed my life budget and decided I’d invest my spare psychic capital
in Innocence™. Ladies and Gentlemen, the returns have already gone
through the roof. I’m talking spiritual capital. Emotional real estate. Buy
low, add value and sell it off fast. A quick turn around and your are home.

Speaking personally, I was in a cycle of diminishing returns. My emotional
capital was down. I felt a market imperative to value add. We’re talking
futures here, big futures.

HAPPINESS ATMOSPHERE DETECTOR

The Happiness Atmosphere Detector (HAD) is a scale model of
a Happiness molecule. It emits a high frequency attractor beam
that is recognised by individual happiness molecules. Happiness
molecules are naturally curious. They travel down to the detector
which not only samples these free radical random molecules, it
collects them, distils them into a pure essence then converts the
output to a natural gas. The Happiness Atmosphere Detector
offers a renewable energy source that is safe, clean and will last
forever. The public affectionately coined the Happiness Atmosphere
Detector 'the new heart of Melbourne'.

METRO SENSITIVITY

Technicians monitoring the Meter ensure that the highly charged
signals emitted from St Paul's Cathedral and SBS TV aerials do
not interfere with the Happiness Meter's sensitive equipment.


Back


Shelly Innocence look-alikes


Free samples of Happiness™


Happiness™ auction


Steve Lynch


David Johansen


Jason Maling


Pat Barnett with Vanessa (HAD consultant)


Rebecca Burone


Pedestrians check their Happiness™ levels


Shelly Innocence look-alike


Shelly Innocence fan